Practicing self-compassion allows you to treat yourself with the same kindness and gentle love you'd offer a good friend. However, doing so is often easier said than done. Like many people, you may slip into deep shame spirals after making a mistake. Or, you might move through your day dealing with a sharp inner critic berating you through each task.

Here are some important reminders for practicing more self-compassion in your everyday life.

Allow Yourself to Feel Pain and Uncomfortable Emotions

Although this may sound counterintuitive, practicing self-compassion means recognizing emotions without trying to change, intellectualize, or suppress them. No matter how challenging things feel, all emotions pass. It's important to learn how to sit with these feelings, as leaning into them can actually prevent you from feeling worse.

You can engage in self-compassion while honoring your feelings by:

• naming exactly how you feel without judging those feelings

• asking yourself what may have led to you experiencing those particular feelings

• gently asking yourself how you'd like to optimally cope with your feelings

Meditate For Two Minutes

Learning how to practice mindfulness is one of the most impactful self-compassion exercises.

Set a timer and commit to meditating for just two minutes when you notice the self-criticism or self-doubt coming in. During this meditation practice, engage in deep breathing and note how the air moves in and out of your body.

Then, orient yourself to mindful self-compassion. You can do this by focusing on the concept of common humanity, which refers to the idea that everyone experiences distress and makes mistakes. Spend a moment grounding yourself to the people within both your inner and outer circles. If it feels right, send them warmth and love and let that experience reflect back to you.

Ask Yourself What You Need

Part of a good self-compassion practice is recognizing and taking care of your own needs. At first, this may be extremely difficult. You may be more comfortable taking care of others than yourself. Or, you may be so used to listening to your own negative self-talk that you simply discount the benefit of self-soothing or self-care in your daily life.

Instead of disregarding your needs, pause and ask yourself, What do I need right now? Get quiet with this and wait a moment to see what emerges. Whether it's nourishment, rest, or supportive words from a loving friend, honoring your needs will help you embody more self-compassion.

Spend Time With Other Self-Compassionate People

Those who practice self-kindness model the ability to cultivate kindness in their own life. A self-compassionate person isn't conceited or overly focused on themselves. Instead, they honor their well-being and inspire others to do the same.

Surrounding yourself with people who encourage and inspire you can help you strengthen your self-dialogue. Furthermore, when you see other people treating themselves with kindness, you internalize their behaviors and learn to practice them yourself.

Move Away From Self-Pity

Self-pity can counteract a self-compassionate voice and magnify an inflated ego. When you're in a state of pity, you're focused on what's wrong with you, and you feel isolated from others. This can reinforce the self-critical voice and fuel complaining, self-judgment, and a deep sense of suffering.

If you notice yourself falling into self-pity, try the following:

• acknowledge that you having a tough time doesn't mean the world is falling apart

• acknowledge that you are capable of dealing with negative thoughts and difficult feelings

• mindfully accept your certain situation without letting the emotions define you

• aim to reduce stress by taking care of yourself and being gentle

  
  

Write Down What You Learned

If nothing else, making mistakes provides ample opportunity for growth. Instead of ruminating on what went wrong- or what you regret- try to shift your focus on what you learned. It may be helpful to take a few moments to write down your insights:

Reflect on:

• What did this specific experience teach you about yourself?

• How might you handle a similar situation differently in the future?

• How can you engage in higher self-compassion right now?

• What strengths did you discover in the process?

Reframing mistakes as learning experiences encourages you to move forward with more resilience, kindness, and compassion.

Strengthening Your Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem With Resurface Group

At Resurface Group, we help clients improve their mental well-being and cultivate more self-compassion. We do this by supporting you in restructuring your inner dialogue, building your support system, processing difficult emotions, and prioritizing your own inner strength and capacity for self-love.

We understand the close connection between poor mental health and low self-esteem, and we are here to provide tools and guidance to foster lasting change.

Contact us today to learn more about our programs or to connect with one of our team members.