Of all the emotions, anger is often pathologized, misunderstood, and stigmatized. This, of course, makes sense. Nobody likes being the target of someone's severe anger- it can feel threatening and scary, particularly if you've been harmed by someone in the past.
If you resonate with experiencing intense anger, you may be wondering if it's possible to change. Yes, but it probably means there are some underlying issues below the surface. Anger can sometimes be a secondary emotion.
Here are some key takeaways to consider:
Anger As a Symptom of Past Trauma
Any experience of past trauma, including being physically abused, emotionally abused, sexually assaulted, and more, can perpetuate intense feelings that may coincide with intense anger. Trauma is deeply complex, and when it's unresolved, it can show up in heightened emotions.
You may have repressed other emotions like fear, sadness, or loneliness because they simply feel too raw or vulnerable. If anger is more accessible, that may be the default response (even if you're not deliberately choosing to feel this way).
People who experience intense anger often resonate with a limited sense of self-worth. This can also be a product of trauma. For instance, maybe you feel like you're really not good enough in your day-to-day life, or you feel incompetent or inadequate in your relationships. Anger may be a way to shield your pain and protect yourself.
Anger as a Manifestation of Helplessness
Consider the last time you felt angry. What happened? There's a good chance someone did something that made you feel out of control. Or something happened that triggered a deep sense of powerlessness.
People may experience anger when they feel trapped- it is scary to have little or no control over things that matter to you, so when things don't go according to plan, it can show up in angry outbursts.
Anger Representing Unmet Needs
Sometimes uncontrolled anger speaks to unmet needs or desires. This can feel disappointing- we all want things to go a certain way. You can see this in even young children when they throw temper tantrums. As adults, this can look like verbal aggression or other forms of hostility.
Sometimes the anger resolves itself once that need is met. But other times, it still festers, meaning there may still be residual pain or discomfort.
Anger Emerging From Chronic Stress
Humans are wired to cope with stressful situations, but chronic stress can make it challenging to control anger. That's because heightened stress truly affects the body's nervous system.
If this is the case, you may start feeling dysregulated even when things are "going okay" or something minor happens. Stress can also coincide with burnout, fatigue, limited time for self-care, and poor coping skills, all of which can heighten a sense of explosiveness.
Anger Resulting From Mental Health Conditions
Irritability is a common symptom in many mental disorders, including:
Depression: Although it's not always recognized, irritability or "feelings of rage" may coincide with depression. This is true for both men and women, however, it's often overlooked when examining other symptoms like sadness, suicidal ideation, or poor concentration.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Children and adults alike with ADHD may appear as moody, impulsive, or defiant. They may also have a difficult time controlling anger when activated. However, this often speaks more to struggles with emotional regulation and potentially feeling misunderstood.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): OCD correlates with themes of rigidity and fears of losing control. This can result in chronic feelings of frustration, making it difficult to use relaxation techniques or other methods of stress reduction in high-stakes situations.
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED): Intermittent explosive disorder refers to experiencing episodes of intense anger that are disproportionate to the situation. These outbursts are impulsive and recurrent and people experiencing them feel regretful afterward.
Bipolar disorder: Irritability may be a feature of both the depressive and manic phases of bipolar disorder. Those in a manic episode may be more prone to aggressive impulses, including self-harm, physical fights, or engaging in verbal or physical abuse.
Substance use disorders: Substance abuse affects impulse control and can exacerbate relationship problems, money problems, work-related stress, and more. It may also coincide with violent behavior due to lowered inhibitions. This can trigger themes of excessive anger.
Compassionate, Effective Anger Management With Resurface Group
Not all anger is the same- when you feel angry, it's important to understand what's going on internally and choose adaptive ways to respond to those emotions. Physical aggression, explosive outbursts, passive-aggressive behavior, self-harm, and substance abuse all have consequences and may actually worsen your anger issues in both the short-term and long-run.
At Resurface Group, we provide professional support for clients regulating their emotions. Our programs focus on communication skills, building self-esteem, and managing triggers realistically. We use evidence-based treatments like CBT, DBT for anger, and person-centered approaches to help our clients heal. Growth is always possible, and we are privileged to witness it daily in the people we work with!
Contact us today to learn more and get started.
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